An International Student Host Family Update
By Bruce McCoskey, Host Parent
So the literature from the homestay company talks about the “Honeymoon Phase” – that’s supposedly the first few weeks or so with your International Student. Everything is “NewFunCool!” and you show off your student to your envious friends so they can see how hip, progressive, and downright philanthropic you are. And you go out to dinner way too much. Excuse me, better make those “I” statements.
Logically then it would seem to follow that the “Après Honeymoon” is when the shiny starts to wear off and it’s not quite as much fun for the host family or the student. Maybe the host parent considers the student a burden and/or the student starts secretly plotting an escape because these people aren’t the American Fairy Godparents he or she had been hoping for? Hmmmm, we’re five months in and that hasn’t happened; so what’s wrong with us?
Sure, everybody’s going to settle into a comfortable routine. In the past few months we’ve learned that Xinyi (Amy) might sometimes prefer a little routine to our somewhat haphazard wacky spur-of-the-moment American lives. This means set routines for waking up, breakfast, getting to school, cooking dinner at home, homework and studying, bed time – nothing wrong with that – a little routine happens to be good for us as well.
Amy’s residential coordinator once asked if we would be “offended” if she sometimes chose to study quietly in her room instead of hanging out with the family. Amy is pretty serious about studying and getting good grades; after all – that’s the main reason she’s here and her parents pay a considerable amount of money for her to attend school in America. Her intent is to earn enough in academic scholarships to pay her own way through college so her parents can afford to send her little sister to America in a few years. That’s quite a burden for a 15-year-old kid in a foreign land – a lot of the things we take for granted here just don’t happen in China. We’ve talked about all these things with Amy and the importance of work/play balance (another somewhat foreign concept). She gets it. We get it. Nobody’s feelings are hurt.
Oh, we still have plenty of fun – among Amy’s “firsts” are: Homecoming (there are no mums in China), The Great State Fair of Texas (yay Corny Dogs!), her 15th birthday party at Medieval Times (Ye Olde Land of Merriment and Overpricing), Halloween (SO glad she chose the “modest” witch costume), Thanksgiving (fried turkey – enough said) and Christmas (helping with our family’s over the top decorations and lighting). She’s bonded heavily with “her” pup and is not shy to pick up the karaoke mic. We all laugh and play on a regular basis and it’s just as rewarding to see Amy doubled over in laughter as it is to see her getting good grades.
So far, so good. In fact, very good.